Attachment Therapy in Austin, TX

Attachment Injuries: Understanding Them and Healing Through Trauma Therapy

Attachment injuries occur when early relationships with caregivers fail to provide the safety, security, and emotional attunement that are essential for healthy development. These disruptions can significantly impact an individual's ability to form secure bonds in adulthood and with their own children. Understanding the four types of attachment styles—both in infancy and adulthood—helps us recognize how these early experiences shape relationship dynamics throughout life. Fortunately, trauma therapies like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can play a crucial role in healing attachment injuries.

The Four Types of Attachment Styles

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, identifies four main attachment styles that emerge in infancy. These styles are shaped by early interactions with caregivers and tend to persist into adulthood, influencing how we relate to others.

1. Secure Attachment

In Infancy: Securely attached infants have caregivers who are consistently responsive to their needs. These children feel safe exploring their environment, knowing they can return to a dependable caregiver for comfort and support. They tend to cry less and are easily soothed when distressed.

In Adulthood: Secure adults are generally comfortable with intimacy and are able to depend on others without becoming overly anxious. They also allow others to depend on them in return. This attachment style leads to healthy, balanced relationships based on mutual trust and emotional regulation.

Developmental Trajectory: Those with secure attachments often experience stable, healthy relationships in adulthood and exhibit resilience in times of stress. Their ability to manage emotions in a balanced way allows them to develop healthy bonds with their own children, often raising securely attached children themselves.

2. Anxious-Ambivalent (Insecure) Attachment

In Infancy: Infants with anxious-ambivalent attachment often have inconsistent caregivers—sometimes available and sometimes emotionally distant. As a result, these children are uncertain about whether their needs will be met. They may become overly clingy or exhibit extreme distress when separated from their caregiver.

In Adulthood: Children with anxious-ambivalent attachment tend to grow into adults with anxious-preoccupied attachment. They tend to worry excessively about whether others will reciprocate their feelings. They often seek validation and reassurance, sometimes appearing needy or emotionally intense in relationships. This can lead to a fear of abandonment and insecurity in romantic relationships.

Developmental Trajectory: This attachment style often leads to turbulent adult relationships, where individuals may struggle with trust and emotional regulation. Anxious-preoccupied adults may also become overly involved in their children’s emotional lives, leading to enmeshed or codependent relationships.

3. Avoidant (Insecure) Attachment

In Infancy: Avoidant infants typically have caregivers who are emotionally unavailable or unresponsive. These children learn to suppress their emotional needs to avoid rejection. While they may appear independent, they are actually internally distressed but do not seek comfort from their caregiver.

In Adulthood: Adults with avoidant attachment tend to maintain emotional distance in relationships. They value independence and may struggle to open up to others or form deep emotional connections. They often have difficulty depending on others and may dismiss the importance of close relationships.

Developmental Trajectory: As adults, those with avoidant dismissive attachment may struggle with vulnerability and emotional intimacy, leading to difficulties in forming close bonds. In parenting, they may be less attuned to their children's emotional needs, perpetuating the cycle of avoidant attachment.

4. Disorganized (Insecure) Attachment

In Infancy: Disorganized attachment is often the result of trauma, abuse, or extreme neglect. These infants experience caregivers who are both a source of fear and comfort, leading to confusion. The child may exhibit contradictory behaviors, such as approaching a caregiver while simultaneously avoiding eye contact or freezing in place.

In Adulthood: Disorganized adults often struggle with unresolved trauma and exhibit chaotic relationship patterns. They may desire close connections but also fear them, leading to intense emotional conflict. This attachment style is strongly linked to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Developmental Trajectory: Adults with disorganized attachment may have difficulty forming stable, healthy relationships and often struggle with unresolved trauma. Their parenting style may reflect these struggles, leading to inconsistent or fearful interactions with their own children, perpetuating the disorganized attachment cycle.

Impact of Attachment Styles on Adult Relationships and Parenting

Attachment styles developed in infancy play a crucial role in how adults navigate their relationships. Secure individuals tend to experience healthier, more fulfilling relationships, characterized by trust and emotional openness. Insecure attachment styles, on the other hand, often result in difficulties with intimacy, communication, and emotional regulation.

In Romantic Relationships:

• Anxiously attached adults may become overly dependent on their partner, constantly seeking reassurance and fearing abandonment.

• Avoidantly attached adults often struggle with vulnerability, leading to emotional distance and difficulty committing to relationships.

• Disorganized adults may oscillate between craving closeness and pushing people away due to unresolved fears or past trauma.

In Parenting:

• Securely attached adults are more likely to foster a stable, nurturing environment for their children, promoting secure attachment in the next generation.

• Anxious or avoidant parents may struggle to provide the emotional attunement their children need, either by becoming overly involved (anxious) or emotionally distant (avoidant).

• Disorganized parents may repeat cycles of trauma and fear, creating unstable environments that hinder their child’s emotional development.

Healing Attachment Injuries with Trauma Therapies

For individuals with insecure attachment styles, there is hope that attachment injuries can be healed. Trauma therapies, including EMDR, are particularly effective in addressing the deep emotional wounds that contribute to these attachment issues.

EMDR Therapy:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy technique that helps individuals process and integrate traumatic memories. For those with attachment injuries, EMDR can be modified to help reprocess early attachment traumas, allowing clients to release negative beliefs about themselves and develop healthier relational patterns. EMDR can be complimented with Ego State Therapy and self-compassion cultivation to target attachment trauma and it’s related patterns of anxiety, avoidance, and low self-esteem. Through this process, clients can work toward more secure attachment in their adult relationships and with their children.

Benefits of EMDR for Attachment Issues:

• It helps reprocess childhood memories of neglect, abuse, or inconsistent caregiving.

• EMDR reduces emotional reactivity, allowing individuals to respond more calmly in relationships.

• It enables individuals to develop a greater sense of self-worth and trust in others.

• By healing attachment wounds, individuals are better equipped to foster healthy, secure bonds with their children, breaking the cycle of insecure attachment.

Conclusion

Relationships are a central part of life. When attachment injuries manifest as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized patterns in adult relationships it can be highly disruptive and cause a great deal of distress. Individuals with insecure attachment styles often enter into relationships with each other in ways that initially compliment each other’s style but as intimacy builds disruptive patterns emerge, often sabotaging the relationship and leaving both partners feeling like they always “choose the wrong person.” If you’ve found yourself telling yourself this, the good news is it may be due to something that can be healed. It can take a lot of work but it’s well worth it. If you’re interested in learning more about how trauma therapies like EMDR can be used to help heal attachment injuries and build healthier relationships, schedule a free 15-minute consultation.

Schedule a Free Consultation

Interested in learning more about your attachment style?

Researcher Chris Fraley, PhD at the Department of Psychology at the University of Illinois has an ongoing research project that provides a free assessment and detailed report of your attachment style among other measures of personality. Your data is deidentified and used in on an ongoing research project so make sure you read the informed consent and decide if you’re comfortable with it before proceeding. I found my report quite useful and more trustworthy coming from a university. Follow the link below if you’re interested.

Free Attachment Assessment

References

• Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

• Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. Basic Books.

• Schore, A. N. (2001). Effects of a Secure Attachment Relationship on Right Brain Development, Affect Regulation, and Infant Mental Health. Infant Mental Health Journal, 22(1-2), 7-66.

• Shapiro, F. (2017). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures. Guilford Press.

• Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. Guilford Press.